Catch up on Distractible Podcast videos in minutes

Bob explains that he always sat in the back row during law school because his height would block shorter students from seeing the board, which confused professors since he still asked frequent questions. Wade adds that alphabetical seating in eighth and ninth grade forced him into the front row with a 6-foot-4 afro, completely blocking the view for a 4-foot-9 classmate behind him. The trio concludes the bit by joking about how fan merchandise exaggerates their height differences.

In Chelsea Herzog's story, Ranger Carter Harris confronts coroner Mrs. Park over the death of her boyfriend, Danny Ross, refuses to accept that an experienced hiker slipped on a dry night, and suspects the local cult known as the 12 Sons. Mrs. Park angrily dismisses Carter's murder allegations as reckless grief and forces her out of the funeral home.

A co-host opens the show by reciting an absurd scripted emergency broadcast where he claims to have murdered his co-hosts out of jealousy. He follows restrictive physical cues and pedantic biological corrections while performing over-the-top character gestures. The monologue concludes when his surviving co-hosts interrupt to reveal the entire scenario was an elaborate setup.

Violet J. Williams depicts tech executive Benjamin Sahu living fifty meters underground for nearly seven years to safeguard intellectual property. He relies entirely on autonomous synthetic agents to direct his corporate operations and deliver morning status briefings. This extreme subterranean routine isolates him completely from organic human society.

Bob opens by announcing that the Scary Tapes anthology is available for purchase in ebook format at realgoodai.org. He explains that formatting delays postponed the physical hardcover release. The anthology will feature fifteen distinct human-authored horror submissions.

Bob unearths the original script document for Distractable, revealing a more structured format with strict time limits for small talk and specific judging criteria. He notes how the show has evolved, with the original rules and elaborate titles for stories being largely abandoned in favor of a more spontaneous and less formal approach.

Dr. Emily Fetal faces her final surgical proficiency test, a high-stakes evaluation designed to determine her future as a surgeon, amidst overwhelming anxiety and self-doubt. The pressure is immense, with her entire career hinging on this single procedure, pushing her to the brink of physical and mental exhaustion.

Wade shares his recovery from a foot injury, expressing excitement about returning to woodworking with a new table saw. He plans to build a French cleat wall for modular storage, viewing this as a sign of his renewed 'invincibility' and ability to tackle projects, despite the inherent dangers of power tools.

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Wade recounts a frustrating experience at the Minnesota State Fair, highlighting the immense crowds, difficulty finding parking, and the sheer scale of the event, which made navigating and enjoying the fair a significant challenge. The journey involved a two-hour search for parking, a mistaken attempt to use a handicap-accessible shuttle, and a general sense of being overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people and the oppressive heat.

Bob introduces a custom Jeopardy game focused on Cincinnati, explaining that it was created online and features three categories: Cincy slang, headquartered here, and things to do. He notes that the game is designed to be easy.

Markiplier, as the host, defines the episode's theme and introduces the game, setting the stage for the contestants. He establishes the rules and the scoring system for the 'Smell My Touch' game, which involves guessing objects using limited senses.

Bob, as the host who won the previous round, is tasked with running the game 'Would I Lie To You?'. He expresses a mix of excitement and apprehension about the game he meticulously prepared, acknowledging that its success or failure could be embarrassing. He also mentions the administrative burden of his current work, comparing it to a character from SNL.

Mark describes the significant effort and discomfort involved in taking a shower with a leg cast, highlighting how mundane activities become challenging and how even a 'real' shower is a complex process when injured. He contrasts this with enjoying hotel showers more than home showers.

Wade admits to being significantly sleep-deprived due to playing 'Pal World' until 3:30 AM, impacting his energy and appearance for the recording. He humorously contrasts his situation with Bob's, who has to wake up early for his child.

Mark discusses the physical toll of intense gaming, noting his gamer hands have become weaker with age, leading to muscle strain and even a slap tear from prolonged play. He humorously contrasts youthful energy drink consumption with the adult need for recovery tools like meat rolls for forearm massage.

The conversation touches on the ethical gray area of content creators receiving free game keys or products without disclosure. Mark emphasizes his practice of buying games to avoid FTC issues, while the hosts briefly discuss GoPro's products and the potential for an underwater night-vision camera.

Markiplier introduces the game 'The Perfectest Crime,' where Bob and Wade, as rival detectives, must solve a mystery by piecing together clues left by the 'criminal.' The game's premise is that the criminal is so adept, they've laid out clues in the exact order the detectives will find them, testing their deductive skills and rivalry.

Mark shares his ongoing knee issues, detailing doctor visits, physical therapy, and the hope of avoiding surgery. He also mentions enjoying his new Blackstone griddle for cooking outdoors.

Markiplier reveals he's feeling unwell on his birthday, prompting Bob and Wade to share their own unfortunate birthday experiences. This sets the stage for the episode's theme of 'Unhappy Birthday' and establishes a relatable, albeit somber, starting point for the hosts' shared stories.

Wade has fallen deep into the world of Pokemon card collecting, spending a significant amount of money ($2,000) on packs and becoming frustrated with the complexity of modern sets and the prevalence of scalpers. He aims to complete master sets, a pursuit that is becoming increasingly expensive and complicated due to the ever-expanding number of cards and the inflated market.

Wade discusses his upcoming trip to Virginia to visit friends as a way to break the monotony of being home. He also mentions planning a trip to Minnesota for the State Fair with his wife, Molly, and reflects on the importance of taking trips together, especially since their honeymoon in 2018. He expresses a desire to travel more this year, even considering destinations like Japan or Hawaii, though he acknowledges he's a homebody needing a change of pace.

Bob explains the podcast's format, noting that it's improvised, the topic might not even be covered, and that his role as host is determined by winning the previous episode's game, emphasizing the show's unpredictable and player-driven nature.

Markiplier discusses the final stretch of his 'Iron Lung' project, noting that after three years, it's nearing completion with only minor tasks like translations and physical media releases remaining. He expresses a sense of detachment from the project, indicating it's hard to maintain enthusiasm after such a long period.

Mark recounts his unexpected experience of being transported by motorcycle taxi from the Cannes airport, initially expecting a car. Despite the surprise, he found the ride pleasant and efficient, highlighting the driver's attentiveness and the benefit of lane-splitting for avoiding traffic. He also lamented not having a GoPro to capture the scenic journey.

Mark recounts his trip to the Cannes Film Festival, describing it as a prestigious industry event that felt disconnected from his usual online content creation, despite the luxurious travel arrangements. He found the experience tiring but ultimately valuable for industry networking.

Markiplier experiences a persistent, stuck burp that he struggles to release, even attempting a physical technique to dislodge it. This leads to a humorous discussion about bodily functions and the discomfort of trapped gas.

Wade recounts attending the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra's performance of Star Wars music with his nephews, finding the experience enjoyable and the venue impressive, despite initial doubts about his nephew's engagement.

Mark recounts his confusion upon arriving in Iceland, having misunderstood the 'Blue Lagoon' on his itinerary as a hotel rather than a famous geothermal spa, leading to embarrassment and a lack of preparedness with swim trunks.

The hosts humorously introduce the podcast by parodying the intro of 'The Office,' replacing the original characters with their own faces, acknowledging the impossibility of replacing Steve Carell but embracing the comedic imitation. This sets a tone of self-aware humor and pop culture reference.